Mixed message much

You know what really bugs me about Glee? (Apart from the obvious cheesy ridiculousness of the 30-somethings-playing-teens lives and occasional butchering of beloved songs) Glee likes to tell the audience, ‘Hey, it’s OK to be weird or that unique, outcast, nerdy kid’ but then turns around and becomes the most judgemental wankers on the face of the planet.

Example:

The new directions (our protagonists) are at some show choir championship or whatever and they go up against their rivals Vocal adrenaline and some other random choir. Now Vocal adrenaline isn’t so much a show choir as it is whatever pop/youtube star is available to pretend they belong to the enemy high school and have masses of dreadfully choreographed dancers wave their arms around them. They’re sort of more like a cruise ship performance that’s kind of like The new directions and win pretty much every time.

Now the random choir in this three way battle is normally some genuinely unique and talented performers trying out new things and pushing the boundaries of music + art. This is all juxtaposing our protagonists, which are just milling around screaming out whatever chart music/equally remembered oldies in the exact same style as the original songs.  The random choir normally gets shown as a snippet of a song rather than being allowed to fully perform any of the three song choices as the protagonist and rivals are allowed. This snippet of their performance is always followed with some remark about how freaking weird those guys were and what were they thinking. Sometimes it’s the judges that make this statement, sometimes it’s are weird, unique, geeky, outcast protagonists, sometimes it’s the voice over guy but usually a mixture of all three.

What shallow pricks.

Our protagonists are supposedly fighting the power to overcome bullying, injustice and a world that does not understand them. Then why are they themselves the bulling, unjust, failing to understand arses?

The devil wears apples

I’m pretty sure the computer is out to get me, along with the oven, microwave and kettle. I have good reason to believe this. The oven burns me, two microwaves have exploded whilst I was using them and so many kettles have randomly started leaking at the bottom from some inconceivable hole and drenched my stomach in scolding hot water.

Now I’ve left out the computer from that list and with good reason. The computer is a far more evil creature. It’s after my sanity.

I have an iMac and though I loved my 2006 iMac my 2010 iMac is the most sardonic piece of shit ever created by apple. It decides when I get to use the internet. It decides when it will allow me to watch a DVD. It says “fuck you” whenever I try to play games on it and it waits for those moments when I am in the middle of a writing flowing and haven’t saved in 10 minutes to do a system crash and lose all that epic monologuing I had been doing. Don’t even get me started on the programs that are supposed to help me with my dyspraxia. Half the time they won’t even turn on.

I’ve sent the computer back to the care team on several occasions and every time they send it back 2 or more weeks later with a little note saying they did a scan and the mac said it was fine. Well of course it would say it was fine, because it’s evil.

The brush off

When everyone is wearing camouflage, which is the real human being and which the psychotic goo?

I find myself constantly surrounded by a quick to judge band of camouflaged women on every side. Some are stupid, some are neurotic manipulative witches and a rare number are pretty decent people. Telling them a part can be the tricky bit however.

Common courtesy and simple things like loyalty, respect and empathy feel almost erased within the current society. There is a selfishness, a malicious intent within the human race that frankly scares me silly but it feels deeper than that in recent years. The desire for absolute and constant adoration and attention. It’s a very scary drug that people have gotten increasingly dependant on in this Internet/reality TV age. It drives them potty. A forum to practice lies, deceit and manipulation without consequence – and a constant stream of willing participants.

So quickly will a friend turn on another friend for the chance to join the ranks of ego rubbing neurotics. Even if they arrive as the lowest member tasked with keeping the ego’s furiously caressed at all times. Will they get discarded? Will they be adopted like a stray French poodle? It all depends on how good they respond to command and how flamboyant the tricks. Is it really worth the hassle?

I read somewhere, a theory that we are all ruled by three voices of thought within our minds - the child, the impulsive wreck and the rational voice. I get the feeling the rational one committed suicide a long time ago in most people I meet.

But as they say, don't make someone a priority if you are just an option for them.

That moment of desire

Need and desire are spoken out loud as two different concepts but within our heads are the same. Do we need desire or desire need?

Physical needs and physical desire based upon biochemistry and firing neurons. Do I need to eat or do I just desire to do so? If there is only need why don’t we just eat tasteless nutrient paste? Why are we obsessed with recipes and dinner parties? Are we perhaps more than just a simulation filling up its need metres? One part need to one part desire. 

If life is just need then wouldn’t we just sit around doing only what we needed to? We would not achieve greater things. We need to desire and we desire to need.

In other words I don’t just play games because I desire to. I need to play my games or I will go insane – I just happen to like them as well.

Ramble: A question of pain

You know when you feel so utterly lost, like you're being sucked downwards into a never ending abyss, and drowning on the fluid of complete misery? You fight and struggle to breath, pushing everything away that has ever hurt you and all those people you feel have or will abuse or simply treat your trust and need with disinterest.


Justice, morality and help in its most basic of forms are simply no where to be seen. It feels as if it will never end, a cycled torment. You wish it will stop, for death or to be given the chance and right to slap it away. 

It is always people, including ourselves, that hurt us the most in this life. Our words and actions are more profoundly powerful and devastating than any disaster nature can conjure up because as a species, unlike nature, there is something evil within us.